The Greatest Feeling

Our baby's acrobatics have impressed me greatly over the past week! The once tiny flutters now feel much more intense. With each little jab I can't help but smile, and sometimes laugh out loud. I feel the movements of our baby in two spots, about 5 inches apart. My nonmedical assumption is that the lower movements I feel are tiny legs (they are strong and feel like "kicks") and what I occasionally feel near my belly button is an arm. I'm hoping that Dr. Lorenc can confirm my hunch on Friday, or tell me that I have it all wrong :)
I was always very curious about what it would feel like to have a baby moving around inside of me...it is nothing less than amazing. I cannot believe that we are almost to the half-way point!
We have our next check up this Friday morning at 8:30 am. I do not know whether an ultrasound will be performed or not, but I have been nervous about it. I know that God will not give us more than we can handle and I don't need to fret over all the "what if's" that life may bring, but it is a struggle for me. My mind wonders...what if the baby has a trisomy or Potter's Syndrome or some other issue? I have to keep a close check on my thoughts. I am not in control of this process, I'm merely along for the ride. All the worry in the world will not change God's plan. When the worries come I have been reciting a familiar passage from Matthew 6: 'Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself..." I have to remind myself to enjoy every moment and every kick that I get to experience, not waste my time in fear. This pregnancy and this child are a wonderful gift from God.

Fall Favorite!

As a child I remember that at some point during the fall Anne Heger would walk over and bring my mom some concord grapes that grew in their back yard. My mom would then use these grapes to make the most wonderful pie in the world! Making grape pie is quite a process, but it is worth it in the end! I look forward to the brief time during the fall when concord grapes can be found in the grocery store. Yesterday my mom found the grapes at Fresh Market and brought some over so I could make a pie. If you have patience and want to try a unique fall dessert, follow this recipe!!

Separate 4-5 c of concord grapes from their skins, save skins

Add 1 T lemon juice and simmer grapes for 5 minutes, then press to remove seeds

Return grapes to pan and add 1 c sugar, 1/4 c flour, 1/4 tsp salt, and skins.

Mix well and pour into pie crust. Add top layer of pie crust and coat with egg was hand sugar. Flute the top and bake 45 min at 375.

Cool completely and refridgerate.

And YES, I am aware that my presentation on the finished product is lacking. However, at 9:30 pm when the pie came out of the oven I was unable to practice self-control and wait for it to cool, so I dug right in! lol a key to this recipe is serving the pie cold, but a pregnant woman who has waited 10 months for grape pie doesn't really care about temp. or presentation!

9/15/09

Today hasn't been very different from any other Tuesday, but it could have been....should have been. Today, September 15, 2009, was our first baby's due date. As I walked into the hospital today and through the hall leading to the Birthplace, I couldn't help but tear up. I figured that on this date I would be wheeled up as a patient, deliver our baby, and leave the hospital as a family of 3 in a day or so. But I walked in alone and walked out alone, like every other day. As I sat in my office a expectant mother was walking the halls trying to speed up the labor process...it made my stomach knot to see her.

These past four months have been full of joy as we anticipate our winter baby. However, my heart still hurts and even as I sit here now typing, I can vividly remember sitting in this very chair on February 22 crying my eyes out and feeling like the rug had just been pulled out from under me. What we have experienced has made Blake and I stronger as a couple and individuals, but it has been painful. I went into the nursery today and got out the baby's memory box. I went through the momentos...the scrapbook I made, the letters, the ultrasound pictures, the items I had knit for the baby. One of the most precious items in the box are the socks. I was in the middle of taking a sock class when we found out that we had lost the baby. For days and nights I sat in bed knitting my socks...tears streaming down my face, it was something to keep my hands busy. It kept me sane. The women in the class with me knew that I was pregnant and at the last class someone asked me about the pregnancy which prompted me to reveal that I had miscarried a week earlier. I also revealed how much knitting this pair of socks had helped me. When the class was over, one of the older (wiser) women in the class came up to me and suggested that I knit a pair of baby socks with my leftover yarn that would match my pair. She said that someday I would have a beautiful healthy baby and that in the hospital we could wear our matching socks as a way to remember our angel baby. And so I did, the socks, both mine and baby's, are safely stored in the memory box. I can't wait until the next time I get them out...to take with us to the hospital in March.

14 weeks 3 days: Dr. Appt.

This morning Blake and I had an appointment with our doctor. I was so excited to go that I woke up at 5am and couldn't fall back asleep! This is the first time in my life I look forward to doctor visits :) He measured my tummy and said I didn't have a pooch yet, but I sure think I do! I can't wait to "look pregnant" but that will probably be at least another month because of my height and long torso. The baby's heartrate was around 151 and he/she is about 3 1/2 inches long. Oh, and I have gained 4 pounds since our last appointment, but anyways...

Dr. Lorenc said everything looks great and after our appointment he did another ultrasound. We were able to see some 3 and 4d images of the baby, but I was having contractions behind the placenta which made for a poor view! I cannot even begin to express how much it means to me to have these images of our baby and how reassuring it is to see how the baby is developing. The attentive care we have received is unbelieveable. I am so sure that we made the right decision switching doctors for this pregnancy. Undoubtedly God knew exactly what we needed and provided. Here are some of the pictures from this morning:

What's in a Name?

A LOT! I mean, seriously...it's a BIG deal! It's one thing to throw around names with your spouse or family when you aren't pregnant. At that point you don't really care whether anyone else likes them or not, you're just throwing a name out there and probably having a good laugh when other's say how hidious it is (ok, maybe that was just my experience!) However, when you are pregnant and actually deciding on the name that your child will possess for their entire life...that's some serious pressure. All of a sudden you aren't just thinking, "That's a cool name!" Instead, your mind goes immediately to what nicknames will people come up with? What offensive or dirty words rhyme with the name that could potentially become a recess taunt? What if our child doesn't like the name we give them?! THEN...if the name clears those question and makes the list of potentials, your spouse has to like it too (what are the chances?) THEN...if you and your spouse actually agree, everyone else in your families will give their opinions on it and end up unintentionally hurting your feelings or saying something ridiculous that automatically strikes the name from your list. I completely see why couples keep their baby names secret until after the delivery!

With all that said, Blake and I actually have been sharing our potential names with friends and family when asked. We've certainly received mixed reviews, but my take on the matter is: If you like the names, GREAT! If you don't, thank your parents for not choosing one of these names when you were in the oven! :) So, drum roll please............
Our boy's name will be: Christian Blake Patterson
Christian means "follower of Christ" and Blake means "peacemaker"
Our girl's name will be: Audrina Kay
Audrina means "noble strength" and Kay means "rejoice"

The meanings of the names are extremely important to us and we really like these. We chose middle names based on meaning and family legacy. Blake should be obvious :) but for those who don't know my middle brother's name is Blake also. Kay is in honor of my aunt who passed away many years ago on the date I was born.

Oh, and I must end with saying that although we are pretty set on these names, they may be subject to change over the next few months :)